Newly sober and dating
Who I sleep with is mine." BILL: "When the speaker at my first Alcoholic Anonymous meeting began preaching about no new relationships the first year sober, my first thought was, 'I need a drink,'" writes Eddie. "If we hooked up, we'd have a common goal -- helping each other stay sober. BILL: Therefore I turned to Joe Schrank, co-founder of The Fix, one of the best recovery websites I know.
When you're turning your life around 180 degrees, let the dust settle. BILL: "There was a very good looking woman at the meeting," Eddie goes on. DAVE: On the face of it, a seemingly sensible idea.
Indeed, while the cardinal rule for all newly sober people is—hello—not to drink, writ slightly lower in the rulebook, in lighter ink, is a mandate against dating during the first year; while it isn’t found in any 12-step literature, the axiom is both whispered and stated aloud in almost any meeting newcomers attend.
“I know people who are able to sustain fairly healthy relationships when they’re six months sober, but I know others who need five years.
It isn’t something you’ll find written in most recovery literature, however, it is important to your health, your well being and your sobriety.
Following this advice isn’t on the agenda of most newly sober individuals though.
Ever since freshman year of high school, I always had a girlfriend.
If both of you are in early recovery, it just doubles the chance of disaster.
Dating during sobriety is a nice distraction from the problems you’re going through, but it’s just that: a distraction.
There is no way I am going to sleep alone for a year. DAVE: If Eddie's wife had wanted to divorce him, her Alanon sponsor would very likely have advised her not to leave him for a year.
"The worst mistake newly sober people make in dating," Joe told me, "is doing it at all.
Years of addiction have taken their toll on your body, mind and spirit. Would you really want to begin a new relationship during this time.